I don’t know how to start my story but I will do my best to tell you everything you have to know.

Okay, so I have always been really skinny and I’ve always eaten whatever I wanted. But, during my vegetarian phase, I gained 40 pounds (I was vegetarian for two years, 2008-2010). It happened because I was eating a lot of pasta with all kinds of sauces, soy stakes in white sauce with cheese, sandwiches (with lots and lots of cheese, mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard etc. and of course – white bread), and between meals - chips, chocolate, cookies, cakes, ice-cream, bakery products etc…. I’ve eaten whenever I was bored, even in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep. I’ve also suffered from depression (since I was twelve) and to stop it I started binging. I was also in a bad relationship and I was constantly stressed out and nervous.

At that point I weighed 165 pounds (and I’m 5’3).

At first, I didn’t even realize that I got fat. My dad was the first who decided to tell me I should do something before it gets too late. I’ve noticed that I got stretch-marks on my waist, legs and butt. When I saw that I was so sad, that was a wakeup call and I told myself that I don’t want to be ‘chubby girl’ anymore. I knew I had to look like I did just few months before that.

In May of 2010 my mom took me to the doctor to check my blood count and the results were… Shocking… My doctor said to me that my cholesterol is so high – like I was a middle aged construction worker… It felt like I got slapped across my face. She tried to convince me to start eating meat again because my body started storing fats instead of proteins I wasn’t getting. Little by little I started to eat fish, and later on even the red meat.

I stopped binging and eating junk food and I broke up that relationship – it was so relieving.

Through the summer of ’10 I reached 143 pounds.

In November of ‘10 I started college. Since I’m in medical college, I don’t have much free time. So I had to eat whenever I had some spare time and whatever I could get, so I gained 9 pounds.

I said to myself that this is it, the last chance to do something right. I knew it would be hard. I knew it will take some time. I knew people would try to talk me out of it. But I knew better. This was something I had to do - for my body, for my confidence, for my HEALTH.

In January of ‘11 I started going to the gym 3 times a week and I started eating smaller meals (I bring my own food with me wherever I go so I don’t have to eat food that got me fat again). It was a good start, but in March I made up my own weight loss program which proved to be more effective.

I’m almost at my UGW now but sometimes I feel like even then I won’t be skinny enough… I will continue improving myself until I am happy with my reflection in the mirror.

P.S. When you’re sad, when you feel like giving up, binging or even self-harming – you must know you can talk to me, I’ll do my best to help you. You have to know you are special and capable of doing anything you want! You have the strength in yourself! If you don’t believe me, you’ll believe Rhonda Byrne. Her book helped me to change myself – it can help you too!

Love,

Ella