How bad do you want it?
I’VE GOT MYSELF INTO THIS MESS AND I’LL GET MYSELF OUT OF IT.

It’s time to confess to myself and other people - I’m ill. It’s not normal to count calories. Oh, excuse me; it’s not normal to be OBSESSED with EVERY calorie I eat, including calories in BREATH MINTS. It’s not normal to starve myself. BINGE EATING is not normal. Purging is not normal. Crying and blaming myself after every little thing I put in my mouth, EVEN FRUITS, is NOT NORMAL. Mood swings aren’t normal. MY HAIR IS FALLING OUT LIKE CRAZY – that is ALSO NOT NORMAL. My fear of gaining weight is not normal. My distorted body image is not normal. It’s not normal to avoid every HUMAN CONTACT because of my eating habits. It’s not normal to reject friends. To reject sleepovers, parties, picnics. It’s not normal to drift apart from my friends. I’ve done enough mistakes. I can’t hurt myself anymore. Everything is slipping away. I’m getting weaker every day. I can’t do this to myself anymore. I won’t do that to myself anymore. I have to change - for me, for my family. I’ll stop my 21 Day Challenge. Getting into a challenge with whom? Myself? My health?? Is it really worth it? I don’t think so. Yesterday was the last day of self-destruction. I will change. But I’ll to that by myself. Don’t get me wrong - I’ll continue to change my body, I’ll work out and I will eat healthy, my tumblr will still be active, I’ll be here for YOU, but no more calorie counting, no more skipping meals, no more bullshit, NO MORE REJECTING FRIENDS. I will become a person I always wanted to be. I’ll become better version of me. I have to. I will succeed. I will. I KNOW I will. <3

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